Personal message

I received my first cancer diagnosis, almost 15 years ago, and I went through it, almost on auto-pilot; doing the tests, the treatment, the checks, the treatment, etc.

I knew it wouldn’t go away because chronic leukemia sits in the dark recesses of your body until it gains some momentum and rears its ugly head again.

I’d struggled with growths, benign tumors, fibroids, and cysts since I was 13-years-old and so I’m used to the poking and prodding. But I didn’t realize how bad things could be once you were “done” with treatment.

For me, side effects of treatment were a compromised immune system, constantly high infection levels that led to an infection in my heart, and ultimately, a heart attack that left me with a left ventricle that only functions at 60% of what it should. I also now struggle with hemolytic anemia, rheumatoid arthritis as well as the chronic conditions that I already struggled with before my diagnosis: Diabetes and Hashimoto's Thyroiditis. And then of course, the changes in my body make me feel like I don’t have any control of how my body responds and so I have terrible panic attacks and the deepest trenches of depression.

One of the roughest times during this period, since the original diagnosis, was finding lumps in my breasts and the lymph glands in my underarms. Those were removed and tested and once again, the cycle of treatments and checks began anew. Doctors decided on an aggressive course of treatment because of my history to ensure that everything bad was dead and to decrease the chances of nasty flare-ups.

A few months ago I realized I was having familiar symptoms, and my tests came back with results that were “greatly concerning” as the symptoms continued and the pain increased, especially because of my spleen that was growing and swelling exponentially, along with the entire left side of my body thanks to blocked lymph glands.

I’m in relapsed CML, in its accelerated phase, so many things in my body are fighting each other and I am not well at all.

The problem is, when I was faced with these fearful situations before, I had a medical aid and now I haven’t had one since I was retrenched in 2020.

I haven’t been able to find permanent employment again so I do some Online Teaching to keep some money coming in, but it doesn’t cover everything that we need. My medication, even without oncology treatments, is already R4 000 per month. And for multiple reasons, I need to be eating well, but I simply am not.

I don’t have any savings and I’m barely living paycheck to paycheck. I’ve been selling everything that I possibly can, including clothes and shoes, just to help take care of my family and it barely helps; I’ve applied for every job that seems viable and I’m feeling so anxious like I've failed so much.

I need help, not just for me, but also for my kids. My son has congenital nystagmus and needs to see his ophthalmologist twice a year and to get new prescription glasses. His Occupational Therapist has also indicated that he is on the spectrum and he needs to see a children’s psychiatrist for proper testing and confirmation for forms that will enable him to get extra help at school.

I need help quite desperately because I am not staying afloat right now and it’s only getting harder trying to keep all the balls in the air. Please, if you can find it in your heart to help us through this trying time, I would be so grateful.  I am begging for help and asking you please to help me and my family to get through this as I am already supposed to be ready for treatment by 19 February. I want to be better and I want to be on my feet to be a positive and present parent to my children. I want to work and be a productive member of society and for that, I need to be strong.

 

 

God bless,

Sue

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