Personal message

I left my job at the end of 2022 thinking that it would be easy to find another job as long as I do not need to stay in the toxic environment where I was working. I lost all my money trying to start up businesses which didn't pan out. I made soaps, hair products etc and even tried jewelry, I didn't sell anything. Now I'm in a predicament where I'm living from hand to mouth on a daily basis. It is my eldest son birthday today and I couldn't even get him anything or make him a special supper. I'm at the point where I don't know if life is worth living anymore. The only reason I haven't done anything stupid yet is because of my kids. Everything I do is for my kids. I'm busy selling my house which I can't pay for anymore. I don't know where we are going to live. Not having a job makes it tricky to go rent a place. I am looking for work and till date have not gotten an interview yet. R300 000 would help me for the entire year and cover the school fees for both kids. Which will give me more time to upgrade my CV by doing courses so I can stand out when I apply for jobs. I would be able to cover the basic needs for all of us without stressing and worrying. I feel like a bad parent. I can't even buy school books which I know is super embarrassing for my kids. They don't really understand what is going on. And I don't want them to know because they are just kids and they don't need to pay for my stupid mistakes. Thank you for taking the time to read, I know my situation isn't anything special but I need a miracle.